Public Prosecutor for the Second-Grade Circuit

Daniel had his faux-camera on tonight when he was supposed to have turned it off. I say "faux" because, although, yes, it does have some digital-photography functionality, this big, latex-lined, bright-orange gizmo also provides a few video games, in the same screen where digital pictures can be viewed, and for some reason, Daniel seems to spend much, much more time manipulating little penguins around a matrix than capturing tender moments of his early youth in pixels to be treasured on down through the years.

So I was upset that he turned it back on and played with it when he was supposed to have it off, so I was confronting him about it, and as he defended himself, Ian immediately found inconsistencies in the phrasing of Daniel's self-defense which he could use as a launching pad for analysis and critique. I told Ian - painfully truthfully - that he would make a wonderful lawyer and that, yes, Mommy is a lawyer, and a good one, but Ian would make an even better lawyer. Ian smiled with a satisfaction beyond his years at this moment of unguarded candor.

And within a minute, he had gone from cross-examination to the brink of closing arguments. He was challenging Daniel's alibi of having turned off his video game before I took it away from him, and no aspect of procedure was overlooked in the delivery:

"Daniel, I can act as a witness, too. I saw, when it was in Daddy's pocket, that it was on."

I think we should probably all be very afraid.

(February 7, 2012)