Daniel's Soft Inner Lining

Ian had a nasty wipe-out, sledding, on Sunday afternoon (did I mention that I hate sledding?), and it involved some bleeding and a trip to Urgent Care. But I was very moved by Daniel's reaction. In the car, as Amy was dropping me, Daniel and Madeleine off at the house before taking Ian to the doctor, Daniel, as Ian later described it, would routinely turn around, look at Ian, and "start shuddering," not to mention crying. While they were at the Urgent Care clinic, I tried to distract Daniel with a bit of makeshift air hockey, and I made fish cakes and read to the children, but Daniel would still spontaneously mention his grief on Ian's behalf, saying things like "Poor Ian." But this was the best:

"I feel really bad for Ian. He's been mean to me a lot, but I still love him."

This might sound rather like a back-handed compliment to most people, but if you know Daniel, it's quite a milestone. The persecution complex is nothing new, and nothing uniquely associated with Ian, but the statement "I still love him" was completely driven from within. And even better, in spite of all this "meanness," he still loves his brother.

(September 22, 2012)