A Small Step for Man; A Giant Step for MightyBeanz.com

In software, as even the most innocent techno-bystanders know by now, one of the key mantras is "solutions." Software companies don't write, or produce, programs; they "develop solutions." Of course, the catch is that the solution is presented even before the hapless potential customer is aware that they have a "problem." My father used to say, "If there's no problem, there's no solution." Luckily, the converse isn't necessarily true; the world is full of softare solutions, but I can't imagine the world is nearly as "problem"-ridden as the software market would imply.

This morning, Ian had a problem, and developed a solution. The boys took home these things called "MightyBeanz" from their cousin's birthday party. MightyBeanz are a bit like Weebles, only worse; they're smaller, and they don't do much. And, unlike Weebles, they do fall down, and they don't wobble particularly well. [The old Weebles commercial in the 70's, when they were spawned, had an awful little jingle, "Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down."

But the girls took home "Squinkles" for party favors instead - basically little plastic balls containing tiny dolls. Madeleine loves her Squinkles, but the boys love their MightyBeanz, and Madeleine wanted one.

To make matters worse, MightyBeanz has a website: MightyBeanz.com, and Ian wanted to visit it - partly for Madeleine, and partly out of his own Generation-A-Prime zeal of the Internet and e-commerce-based consumerism.

But the *real* problem is that we don't let him go on the Internet - hence the subsequent "solution"...

As we were getting ready to go out of the day, it being a Saturday and all, the door to the boys' room was shut, and the room was mysteriously quiet. I opened it up to find Ian on Amy's computer - on his own, for the first time, and he had Internet Explorer opened up (there's no accounting for taste...). I asked him, "Does Mommy know you're on the computer."

Answer: "I don't know."

I'm sure that's true, in the same way that we don't know that Tweety-Bird is real, and is eating pistachios on a Los Angeles freeway, wearing a blue bandana... You can't prove a negative, after all. But, of course, there was also no reason to believe that Amy did know, especially since Ian had absconded with her computer, shut the door to his room, and proceeded with Zero Approval from anyone.

But he got on the Internet, onto MightyBeanz.com, and went on to explain to me that he did so because Madeleine wanted MightyBeanz of her own, and so he opened up Mommy's computer, opened up a browser and got to their website.

A software solution.

But the most ominous piece of the technical press conference was the following:

"Finally, I know how to get access into the Internet! All of the possibilities that opens up for me now."

(December 3, 2011)