Letting Go

Ian went out of the house this morning, as I was getting ready to go to work, and came back with a somber expression. I asked him what was the matter:

"I let him go."

In other words, Ian listened to my strong encouragement that he set the stag beetle free. I told him that stag beetles only have four months, or less, to reproduce, and then they die, and that it would be very sad for this stag beetle if he didn't have any babies. This might sound wilfully simplistic, but I'm sure it's true. Moreover, he probably would have died, witin a matter of days, in Ian's bug-zoo, and then Ian, too, would have been devastated. [The creature really did look quite moribund in that plastic enclosure this morning...]

Ian fought back the tears, and then finally gave up the fight, tearing up ever so slightly. I told him - again, completely in earnest - that he did the more loving thing - to let the stag beetle go back to nature, where he could be happy and maybe find a mate, and probably live longer; in other words, Ian put the stag beetle's existential needs over his own emotional needs, and that's real love.

I left for work later than I intended, to help Ian get over the initial trauma of losing a pet, even for the best of reasons. And I really am very proud of him.

(July 5, 2011)