Graphic Expressions of Misery

When my much-younger brother, Andrew, was probably about four or maybe five, he was a very dramatic, very sensitive lad, and once he was upset, he would make sure you knew it. One time he was upset at me for something - or more to the point, sad at me for something, and wanted to share this fact with me, so he wrote me a little note, saying something like "I'm sad," along with an illustration: the drawing was one of a boy's face, covered in freckles throughout, with the most miserable frown I had ever seen. The image was completely heart-wrenching, and the most devastating of all was the fact that, in spite of the fact that he had the artistic talent of a preschooler or kindergartener, that miserable, hyper-freckly face looked exactly like him.

Daniel now has a similar way of expressing displeasure. He and Ian created "hideouts" in the family room during our surprisingly very enjoyable sick-weekend-at-home, last Saturday and Sunday, and each immediately set out to compete to have me visit his own hideout, rather than the other's. Ian's was called "Happy Hide Out," and he made a sign for it out of easel paper, and would hold up alternating sides of the sign to indicate that the Happy Hide Out was open, and I should therefore visit, or it was closed, and I should get off the couch (as it was otherwise known, except that the hideout, unlike a conventional couch, had all cushions removed).

Daniel's hideout was a narrow standing-room-only space behind Madeleine's big, plastic, open-faced doll-house in the corner of the family room. But Daniel didn't resort to such a conventional, impersonal measure as brandishing a sign to indicate that his hideout was open (and it would have been a feat if he had, because he can't write more than a few words). No: instead, Daniel resorted to the International Misery Symbol, namely a small frowny face. So whenever Daniel wanted me to visit his hideout, he would simply come around and, without speaking a word, point to the little smiley face that he had drawn.

When Andrew, over 20 years ago, drew a picture of himself covered in freckles (as in real life) and crying (as in his inner life), he completely meant it. When Daniel, two days ago, drew and occasionally pointed to a frowny face, he actually didn't mean it. He merely wanted to find a particularly unpleasant, guilt-laden way of telling me that I should visit his hideout. And unlike Andrew's misery-face, which made me truly sad, empathetic and contrite all those years ago, Daniel's was purely entertaining. It's really the Oscar-the-Grouch principle: when Daniel projects misery, he's probably happy, especially because he's projecting misery. And yet the symbolism of pointing to a frowny face to express sadness is very powerful, if only in the abstract.

(February 4 and 5, 2011)