The Gift of Receiving

An Indian colleague of mine came back from a brief visit to her family, and brought me a nice little elephant key-chain. It's rather ornate, with inlaid mirrors studding the surface of the elephant, and when I saw it, one person came to mind more than anyone else. Today, I showed the sparkling elephant to Ian, and when he broke out in spontaneous enthusiasm right on queue, I said he could have it. He was very reluctant to take it, even though he obviously liked it. Eventually, he produced his school knapsack and had me hang it right up next to his little globe keychain on the main zipper, and he moved a third dangling knick-knack to a different location to make room for the elephant. But he was obviously conflicted about accepting it, and even told me that he might give it back to me.

I asked him why he would give it back to me, and he indicated, in some subtle way, that he felt bad taking it away from me. I reassured him that he liked it much more than I did, and I think I might have mentioned that I thought of him when I first received it. He held onto it, but at some point later in the day, came downstairs and silently produced an Easter Egg ornament - interestingly of exactly the same design, with a smooth pinkish pattern studded with little mirrors and other shiny things - and he attempted to hand it to me. I asked him what he was doing, and he said it was for me. I asked why; he said it was because of the elephant. I insisted that he hold onto both, since he loves collecting things and I don't (I accumulate, in a way that cuts into my own quality of life, but I don't collect). Finally, he relented.

But I was very moved that he felt so bad for me, losing such a wonderful, shiny thing, and an animal key-chain, no less - that he couldn't help but attempt to respond in kind, even though I know he would have been very sorry to lose that sparkly Easter Egg.

(February 27, 2011)

Follow-up:

This morning, Ian told me, pointing toward the elephant key chain on his knapsack: "I once brought this in for Show and Tell... They really liked it!"

["Once" in this case means sometime within the past 13 days...]

(March 12, 20110