If you must know...

During the visit that Ian and I paid to the eye doctor yesterday, the nurse/assistant asked more-or-less the same set of questions about each of us, in succession, since we were both getting a check-up. She asked me whether I drank or smoked, and then at the end of her questions about Ian, she concluded, "...And I assume you're not drinking or smoking."

Completely in earnest, Ian answered, "I'm drinking, but not smoking."

(June 12, 2010)