Free NOT to Be You and Me

Amy and I never saw eye-to-eye on the whole Alan-Alda-Marlo-Thomas-Touchy-Feely-Hippie "Free to Be You and Me" album - a cornerstone of my 1970's elementary school education at the mercy of a teacher with a bit of contemporary baggage. And by far, the most cloying track on the album - or the most wonderful, depending on whom you ask - is the one about "A Doll, A Doll, William Wants a Doll," where a rather unconventional boy begs his parents to give him a doll, but his father tries to give him far less sensible things for a lad of his age, such as a basketball and other sporting paraphernalia. The song ends with Grandma, I think it was, enlightening Williams' trogladyte parents and persuading them to give the boy a doll, which, of course, makes the lad very happy. When Amy and I listened to it in the car once, there were tears in her eyes, and I was pretty-much on the verge of tears as well, but for very different reasons...

In any case, I would not necessarily have guessed that Ian would weigh in on the "Manly-man" side of the cultural divide, but that's apparently what happened. We have the same story in picture book form, and I read it at some point to the boys, without really telling them what I think about the controversy. After hearing the story, Ian made it clear that he's not really baby-doll material: "I would want a dad that's like the dad in this book."

I questioned him about it, and he made it clear that he preferred a dad who would shower him with merchandise we "normally" associate with boys. The beauty of this stated preference is that the core content of the book was the Dad's pilgrimage from conventional "guy"-Dad to sensitive new man-person-caregiver.

It would seem that the message was lost on Ian, or, better yet, that perhaps it backfired...

(October 16, 2009)